Learning to Disconnect from Work

I need to learn how to disconnect from work.

I’m always in a state of trying to be productive and feel guilty when I force myself to sleep. It doesn’t help that I’ve got multiple projects running, and the HeySubang community is now well over 80,000 members, meaning there is always something going on there, adding another constant tug on my mind.

However, there is absolutely no excuse for my family to bear the brunt of this.

The final straw was when I was stressing over how to reply to a work-related WhatsApp message at 9:30 p.m. on Sunday night and my son came to remind me to read to him in bed as I promised.

When my thoughts are interrupted, I tend to react badly. That night, I got pretty angry at him and ended up shouting in the kitchen. As is always the case, I felt horribly guilty ten minutes later, but I couldn’t take back what I’d done. On the surface, my son seemed understanding, but I’m sure it hurt him, and that’s not something I can accept from myself.

It’s happened often enough that I knew I had to draw a line.

Due to our current schedule and routine, on weekdays I only have limited time with my son: 40 minutes every morning as I get him ready and send him to school, and another 20 minutes before he goes to bed at night.

Without even going into how loosely I sometimes use the term “work”, if I can’t even give my family that one hour, then whatever else I manage to complete or achieve doesn’t make sense.

At heart, I’m still a builder and a product person, and my mind naturally gravitates towards solving problems. Learning how to quiet it will take time. For now, I need to bring myself back to the present. As a side note, I’ve always loved how the word “present” is a double entendre.

This is probably my way of drawing a line in the sand, putting it out there, and having the internet hold me accountable.

It has to be done. One day at a time, I’ll claim my small wins.